Live to Die
by DaDemonLovesMalfoy
Summary: Already having messed up once, Severus does all that he can to save a life. Songfic!


**Title: How to Save a Life.**

**Warning: Thoughts of self-harm**

**A/N Some of this is straight from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.**

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K and How to Save a Life belongs to The Fray.**

_**Step one you say we need to talk**_

_**He walks in you say sit down it's just a talk**_

_**He smiles politely back at you**_

_**You stare politely right on through**_

_**Some sort of window to your right**_

_**As he goes left and you stay right**_

_**Between the lines of fear and blame**_

_**You begin to wonder why you came**_

Lily sat in compartment 4D staring out the window. As they passed the vast mountains Severus entered the compartment.

"Hey Lily," he said uncertainly, standing awkwardly by the door.

"I am still not talking to you," Lily said, not bothering to look at Severus.

"Aw come on, you didn't talk to me all summer! All I did was turn you lime green for a day!"

"That isn't why I'm not talking to you."

Severus was becoming upset.

_'It was all James fault! Is she going to leave me for him?'_

Severus backed out of the compartment slowly and ran down the train to be alone.

_**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend**_

_**Somewhere along in the bitterness**_

_**And I would have stayed up with you all night**_

_**Had I known how to save a life**_

Severus sat at the Slytherin table alone. He didn't want to talk to anyone if Lily wasn't talking to him. It was just her being stubborn. That was all! Severus looked over towards the Gryffindor table, but Lily wasn't there.

_**Let him know that you know best**_

_**Cause after all you do know best**_

_**Try to slip past his defence**_

_**Without granting innocence**_

_**Lay down a list of what is wrong**_

_**The things you've told him all along**_

_**And pray to God he hears you**_

_**And pray to God he hears you**_

"Lily. What's wrong? Why won't you talk to me?"

"What's wrong? What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong! You use Dark Magic! You want to be a Death Eater! You call Muggle-Borns, Mudbloods!"

"Lily..."

"No! I've had it with you! You and all your Death Eater scum! You-"

"If you were just going to insult me why did you tell me to meet you anyway you filthy little Mudblood!" Severus screamed, losing his temper. Lily looked at him with hurt eyes. Severus immediately regretted those words.

"Sev? How could you!" she said, her voice wavering.

"Oh my gosh! Lily I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it!" Severus said frantically, not wanting to lose his only friend.

Lily just glared at him with tears rolling down her face. "I'm seeing James now. So don't come near me."

_**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend**_

_**Somewhere along in the bitterness**_

_**And I would have stayed up with you all night**_

_**Had I known how to save a life**_

Severus sat on his bed, a knife in his hand. He held it over his wrist ready to make the first cut, but stopped as Lily's voice rang through his head.

_'You have to face you problems head on, otherwise they will become real.'_

That is what he had to do. A silent tear ran down his face. Severus knew he would lose in the end, he always did.

_**As he begins to raise his voice**_

_**You lower yours and grant him one last choice**_

_**Drive until you lose the road**_

_**Or break with the ones you've followed**_

_**He will do one of two things**_

_**He will admit to everything**_

_**Or he'll say he's just not the same**_

_**And you'll begin to wonder why you came**_

"Severus! What are you doing here?" Lily said in a harsh whisper.

"I need to talk to you," the black haired teen answered. Lily grabbed him by the arm and dragged him into the hallway.

"What?"

"I wanted to apologize...for calling you a Mudblood. I never meant to, it just-"

"Slipped out?" There was no pity in Lily's voice. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious Death Eater friends - you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what your all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can't you?"

"Don't you dare talk of things you have no clue about! I don't have any other choices!" Severus shouted.

"Severus, you can be a good guy...or even neutral," Lily said softly, pleading with her eyes for him to pick one of the two.

"Lily, I am not the same boy as I was when I was eleven. I'm sorry," Severus said before walking away.

_**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend**_

_**Somewhere along in the bitterness**_

_**And I would have stayed up with you all night**_

_**Had I known how to save a life**_

Severus and Albus Dumbledore stood on a hilltop at night. Severus had come to warn him but Albus was having none of it.

"If Lily means so much to you, surely Lord Voldemort will spare her? Could you not ask for mercy for the mother, in exchange for the son?" Dumbledore asked.

"I have - I have asked him -"

"You disgust me. You do not care, then, about the deaths of her husband and child? They can die, as long as you have what you want?"

Severus looked up at Dumbledore.

"Keep them safe. Please," Severus said before Apparating away.

_**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend**_

_**Somewhere along in the bitterness**_

_**And I would have stayed up with you all night**_

_**Had I known how to save a life**_

_**How to save a life**_

_**How to save a life**_

"I thought...you were going...to keep her...safe..."

"She and James put their faith in the wrong person," Dumbledore said, as if the deaths of Lily and James Potter were no concern to him. "However, her boy survives. He has her eyes, precisley her eyes. You remember the shape and colour of Lily Evans' eyes, I am sure?

_**"DON'T!"**_ bellowed Snape. "Gone...dead..."

"If you loved Lily Evans, truly loved her, then your way forward is clear," Dumbledore said. Severus nodded.

"The boy must not know."

"If you insist, I will not reveal the best of you, you have my word."

_**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend**_

_**Somewhere along in the bitterness**_

_**And I would have stayed up with you all night**_

_**Had I known how to save a life**_

Severus hid behind a tree in the Forest of Dean. Having already placed the Sword of Gryffindor into the lake he cast his Patronus. The doe trotted over to the tent where Potter resided.

The doe called Harry's name softly. So softly that said boy thought he was imagining it. Severus watched as Harry sat keeping guard.

The bright silver light drifted towards Harry silently. Though his brain was screaming at him to run, he stayed rooted to the spot.

And then the source of the light stepped out from behind an oak. It was a silver-white doe, picking her way over the ground. She stared at him, beckoning him to follow with her eyes. She turned and started to walk away.

"No," Harry said. "Come back!"

She continued to walk away. For one trembling second Harry almost followed the instructions his brain had been giving him. But instinct told him that it wasn't a trap or a lure or Dark. He set off in pursuit.

Severus Disapparated, his job done.

_**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend**_

_**Somewhere along in the bitterness**_

_**And I would have stayed up with you all night**_

_**Had I known how to save a life**_

_**How to save a life**_

Harry took off the Invisibility Cloak and looked down upon the man he hated, whose widening black eyes found Harry as he tried to speak. Harry bent over him, and Snape seized the front of his robes and pulled him close.

"Take...it...Take...it."

A flask was conjured from thin air and handed to him. Harry lifted the silvery substance that was flowing out of Severus with his wand and put it in the flask.

"Look... at... me..." Severus whispered.

The green eyes found the black. Severus smiled, a real smile before his eyes became fixed, blank and empty. The hand holding unto Harry thudded to the floor and Severus moved no more.


End file.
